My Dad used to always tell me that he couldn’t wait until I was older. I was so sure I knew it all when I was younger. I had all these big dreams (and still do), and I just knew it was all going to fall into place just the way I had envisioned it. Well, 12 years later I realize that I didn’t know nearly as much as I thought I did, and reality is a hard (but very effective) teacher. My Dad is a smart man and he knew I’d come to these realizations in time. It’s amazing to me the patience that great parents have. Patience is something that I was not naturally blessed with, and it’s been the cause of a lot of pain in my life. Now that I’ve slowed down a little and have been grounded by the responsibilities of having a family, I’m starting to see things from a totally different perspective.
As young people we sometimes loathe the thought of ever growing up to be like our parents. The reality is that we are heavily influenced by the environment that we grow up in. Combine that with the obvious genetic connection, and you have a good chance at the unthinkable happening. Every day I seem to act more and more like my Dad and I think it’s great. He’s been such a great inspiration to me in so many ways that if I end up being half the man he is it will be a major accomplishment. Being an only child that moved around a lot, I grew up very independent and it meant I was all too excited to branch out and start my own life. As I’ve gotten older I’ve missed being around my parents and wish they were closer so I could see them on a more regular basis. It’s one of those things, the more you realize you’re alike, the more respect and admiration you have for them. In general, people want to be around like-minded people and that is also true of our family bonds.
So how does this relate to your life? Family and the relationships you have with people are going to be a major factor in your ultimate happiness, moreso than even your success and/or finances. Part of being a human is growing and learning from your mistakes. One of the biggest signs that I was starting to really mature was when I realized that a lot of the old disagreements and grudges I had with other people didn’t really mean much to me anymore. As a young person it’s easy to overeact and totally cut ties with people. Now that I’m older I have a different perspective on those things. You learn to figure out what’s really important and move on from situations that may have been bad in the past. You will start to gravitate towards those people that truly care for you and not worry so much about the daily pettiness that can sometimes overwhelm your thought process.
I tell my wife all the time that any repressed anger she may have is something that she has to first deal with, then just let it go. Once you address it, there’s nothing else you can do about it. You cannot change how others feel about it, only how you feel about it and your attitude towards it. Being able to recognize that and let something go is a sign of maturity that not only helps you deal with your daily stress, but allows you move forward in your life without old baggage holding you back. In many ways our success is determined more by the changes we make within ourselves rather than the actions or work we do in our careers.
