People just want to be happy. It’s funny that such a simple concept escapes most people. It’s so easy to get caught up in your everyday rut, and fall victim to the day to day distractions that can get you off course of the direction you want to go with your life. Our society is such that you are usually forced to work the majority of your life to support yourself and your family. There’s nothing wrong with that, except that the constant routine and work-driven characteristic of our society makes it easier to get lost in going through the motions, instead of focusing on those things that excite you and that you are passionate about. Do you find yourself waking up every once in a while frustrated with your life? I know I did, and on occasion still do. But what I’ve learned is that you can get to wherever you need to go to be happy…you just have to have the drive and willpower to see your vision through. In some cases, the smallest adjustment in your perspective, and ultimately your actions, can lead you to the happiness you are looking for.
I think the biggest misconception people have about happiness is that it takes some stroke of lucky fortune to have it. Sure, if winning the lottery is your only idea of happiness, then maybe that applies to you. But in reality happiness comes in many forms, and most of time what people perceive as good fortune is actually a product of persistence and preparation. I used to get very frustrated with my life. I was working for a great company, and viewed as a good young resource with a lot of potential. I was recently married, and just bought my first house. You would think all those good things would have made me happy, but it didn’t. Don’t get me wrong, I worked very hard to achieve those things and get to that level, and I was very grateful for all the positive things that were happening for me. However, in the grand scheme of things, I wasn’t happy with my day to day routine. In my heart I knew that what I was doing wasn’t my passion, and who wants to spend the majority of their week (and their life) doing something that isn’t your passion?
Making that realization is all well and good, but how do you get to where you want to go? It’s not uncommon to hear someone say “a good man knows his strengths.” Personally, I think that saying is incomplete. In my experience I’ve come to believe that a good man knows his strengths, but a great man understands his weaknesses. Everyone has ideas and dreams, but how many times have you actually acted on them? Those characteristics about yourself that prevent you from following your dreams are your weaknesses. The only way to properly overcome any weakness is to thoroughly understand it so that you can make a conscious effort to not let it bring you down. That’s a challenge for a lot of people, because no one wants to focus on their negative traits. The ability to honestly analyze yourself comes with practice and maturity, and it is a vital step in any true self development.
You should look at your weaknesses as opportunities to be a better you. Everybody has good characteristics, and things that they excel in, so you don’t want to lose those by trying to completely change your personality. You want to keep those strengths and those traits that make you special and unique, while tweaking your way of thinking to tighten up any of the negative aspects of your personality. That is why I say the best way to achieve the things you seek is to be yourself, only better. You are in charge of your life, and so you are the catalyst for happiness. I think it is human nature to think that happiness must come from outside sources. We all watch TV and see all these people who have done amazing things or live insanely rich lives, and many times we think or wonder why that can’t be us. In reality, it can be us…you just have to have the patience and be prepared when opportunity knocks. Whenever we hear of an actor who got that big break that catapulted him to a superstar, we sometimes forget about all the years of effort that went unnoticed, but which ultimately made that opportunity successful.
Case in point, when I was a few years out of college I was working as a programmer for a contracting company. I was unhappy with my job and my career in general, but I wasn’t having much success garnering interest from other companies. What I decided to do was put in some extra work to make my credentials stand out, and market myself a little better. I decided to take a couple certification exams, and I enrolled in an MBA program. About 3 months later, I had 4 high quality offers from big time organizations for more money and benefits than my current job. I remember a lot of my friends talking about how lucky I was, but the opportunities came only after I evaluated my shortcomings and did the necessary work to strengthen them. I learned how to make my weaknesses into strengths and the success I was looking for followed.
One of the beautiful things of self-awareness is that there is always something to work on. No one is perfect, everybody makes mistakes or has traits about them that they would consider negative. Even after you work to improve yourself, there is always something more you can do. It is a lifelong process, and that is what makes it special. I always believed that you should work toward perfection with the realization that you can never get there. Some think that’s a crazy way to look at it, since it implies that you will never achieve your goal. I look at it from a different angle. If I constantly try to be a better me than I was yesterday, then I will only get better as time goes on. I’m guaranteed to be a better person tomorrow than I am today, and the next day, and so on. Constant progress means you will be able to handle many more situations and life events as they come, all while you build toward your dreams. You will surprise yourself with what you are able to achieve, and the happiness you seek will come naturally as you strive for your goals.
