One of the biggest personal challenges I had once I progressed in my career was knowing when to close my big mouth. I’ve always been a very outspoken guy, it’s a part of my nature. I’ve also always been someone who can thrive off of his emotions. Those two together aren’t always the best combination. I blame it on my father actually, because I got it from him…but he’s literally the greatest man I’ve ever known. He was able to control it to make himself better, I’m still learning that process. It’s difficult for me sometimes because I’m so used to being a certain way, it’s hard to change your natural reaction to something.
I know a lot of people will say that you should say what you feel no matter what. They’ll say that holding things back only puts more unnecessary stress on yourself, and that you should “be real” with your feelings. I know, I used to say the same things to justify my actions. I’d say that at least I was man enough to be honest about how I felt. I look back now and see that I was really being short-sighted. There are definitely times when it’s better to just hold your tongue because there’s really nothing to be gained by doing otherwise. Sure, you can say that you always spoke your mind no matter what, but how much is that really worth?
It’s no wonder that this is a characteristic that is more common in young people. When we’re young we’re fearless and we think we’re so mature. The fact is, when you’re young you don’t have as much to lose. It’s easy to do reckless things because you don’t have the perspective of a person who can lose everything by making foolish decisions. I learned very quickly once I had a wife and a child what really meant a lot to me. I’m less likely to go on a frustrated rampage at work, not because I really care about my job that much, but more because I care about my family. Losing a job, or bringing about any kind of negative event in your life, not only affects you, but those that you provide for and care for. That is what has changed me more than anything. I don’t look at it as a sign of getting weaker or more afraid to speak up. I see it as a sign of me getting stronger, that I strong enough to not make foolish choices because I’m focused on what’s right for my family.
The decisions that we make in life are based on risk and reward. While it can be hard to think about that in the heat of the moment, you should try as hard as you can to analyze the situation before you do something you might regret. It’s important to stick up for yourself in general, but sometimes we portray a negative image of ourselves for no good reason. All that does is end up hurting you (and those around you) in the end in the form of missed promotions, lay offs, or small raises. The key is find ways to let out your frustrations in a way that don’t end up hurting you later. For me, I try to keep all my frustrations with work inside until I get home later. Then I vent, or do something to release that stress. That way I continue to keep my options open for my career and keep my family fed. That’s how I know I’m getting better at controlling my big mouth because I don’t mind suffering a little bit for their benefit. That’s what being a provider is all about.
