I am the one that primarily handles all the finances in my family. We went that way since I had the most experience in doing it, and it would allow us the greatest chance for success, since it would simplify it for everybody else. I basically told them how much to give me each paycheck, and I did the rest. Financially, this has worked out pretty well as we’ve managed to get through our big purchases last year and managed to set up our emergency savings nicely. The issue now though is that the rest of my family doesn’t really have a firm grasp on our financial situation and isn’t really learning the budgeting lessons and life lessons in general that you get when you’re responsible for paying bills. Small consequence you say? I don’t think so, as it has become a point of contention more than once in my family due to the lack of financial knowledge that is getting spread around. By taking over the budget completely, I’ve made it hard for my family to learn some of these lessons themselves.
When we’re teenagers, we look to our parents as the providers. They may give us a little bit of money for doing certain things, and we would go spend it right away. We’d see something that we just had to have right then and there, that day. Our parents (well, at least my parents) would constantly get on us for needing everything on impulse, and tell us that one day we’d understand. Well, if you never have to take responsibility for your finances that one day may never come. By shielding my family from learning the budget, am I prolonging their “teenager mentality” when it comes to money? Some days I think the answer is yes.
So what can I do about this? I’ve decided to come up with a few ideas of how to share the responsibility with my family while still making sure everything gets done. For instance, I can take some time out and go over our budget, and explain how and when I pay our bills. Then maybe one month I let someone else do it while I just watch. That way they can understand how much money is actually going out the door on a monthly basis, and how a little bit of saving can go a long way. At the very least it should provide them some perspective on what’s really important. They may think that one thing they wanted was absolutely necessary, but after seeing what we’re really spending our money on every month (the house, food, etc) they might think differently.
It can be frustrating sometimes when you argue about differences of opinion with money. But after looking at the situation rationally, I realize that my actions are partly to blame. I thought I was doing a good thing by simplifying our financial situation for my family, and maybe I was for a while. But now that we have a little cushion, it may be time to let off the reigns a little bit, and let them learn what’s really going on. That way we can have 3 people with financial savvy in the house, instead of just one.
Has this been an issue for you too? If so, let me know I’d love to hear some of your ideas on how to make it better.
